school girl

Yeah, yeah...I'm way behind. Chalk it up to motherhood. Work. Life....it is what it is so here's my attempt to catch us up a little bit.

Daizy has started school this year and she LOVES it. She is doing awesome. Her reading is improving every day it seems. She has made lots of new friends. I seriously couldn't ask for a better school or a better teacher. We love Peabody Montessori!!

Here are her school pictures from this year from the awesome and super talented Emmy Fuselier.

I know I am biased but how cute is she? And she loves wearing uniforms. She tells me all the time how smart she looks.

First day of school pictures. I love a kid in uniform myself. Adorable.

Not long into the school year she was selected as the star student in her class and got to make a poster all about her. It was a fun week for Daizy. Her she is with her poster.

#9

How in the world do I have a 9 year old? I blinked and she's so grown up. So I am partially joking and partially not. If you look back on pictures from December when I arrived in Uganda to get Daizy and pictures now it is unbelievable how much she has changed. My baby isn't a baby at all.

It seems like we have been celebrating her birthday for a month....because we pretty much have. We spent her actual birthday (July 3rd) at the lake in Alabama with my family. She had a big time. Because I am a weakling when it comes to gifts she got to open gifts all week and still had a ton of gifts to open on her birthday. Her two favorite gifts were her Elsa and DocMcstuffins costumes.

Auntie Teri made her birthday extra special with a Frozen cake made by our dear friend Kala. It was beautiful and tasted amazing. Daizy loved her cake!!

And because my little African loves her some Mexican food we took her out for dinner to have some "guacamelon" and this happened...they sang to her while she was wearing a big sombrero and then they smeared whip cream on her face. She wasn't really sure how she felt about this at first.

On Saturday my sister hosted a "Come Meet Daizy Party" which was not intended to be an extended birthday party but that is what it turned into. That kiddo got so much stuff. In fact we had to leave some things behind for Pops to bring on his next trip because we just couldn't get everything in the car. Her favorite gift from the party that has provided us all with entertainment was her karaoke machine. Oh my heavens...I wasn't sure if the Eckers hated me or were just investing in Daizy's future as a performer but we have had a blast with her karaoke machine.

When we finally made it back to Louisiana I had to buy a new shelf to organize all her new toys but she is loving them all and has given her momma a break by playing so well in her room by herself.

This past Sunday we had her birthday party with her friends here in Louisiana. It was nothing fancy. We had cake and ice cream and swam and she loved it. The greatest gift I could give my little social butterfly was time with her friends.

Happy Birthday Daizy Mae....we love you and are so glad you're here!!!

Three Month Update

It's hard to believe that this past Tuesday made three months since we landed in Alexandria, LA. Even crazier is that we still have one month to go at home before we will be home as long as we were in Uganda. All together I have had my girl in my care for 7 months. Seriously? The days sometimes go so slow but the year is flying by at warp speed.

Clearly being a mom has slowed down my blogging. Let's be honest....even though I have an 8 year old I have had the adjustments any mom of a newborn has. Sleepless nights...interrupted sleep. Days where you simply survive until bed time and you're so thankful that God's mercies are new every morning. Through the sleep deprived nights and the food battles I absolutely love being Daizy's mom. That girl has so much personality. She makes me laugh every day...all day.

Here is just a small glimpse of life at home with Daizy Mae Thomas. Okay not really Daizy Mae Thomas....right now she is still legally Daisy Ayiorwoth but we are working on that.

Our arrival in Louisiana. What a precious memory to be greeted by our church family and friends.

First days at home just soaking it all in...

First Christmas (in March)

First time to Life Group

Getting her ears pierced.

more to come...

For all those who love Daizy already...

*this is also a long post I wrote on Facebook to help friends and family know what life will be like when we finally return to America. I posted this originally on January 12th thinking were coming home soon....now here I am posting it again on March 11th from Africa (still)

I’m writing this letter in high hopes that we are coming home very soon! That was wonderful to type. I thought because of the already existing relationship that Daizy and I had prior to her adoption that we could avoid this type of letter. The blessing of this time in Uganda has been the uninterrupted time we have had bonding and getting to know one another as mother/daughter. Up to this point I have been fun “Big Momma” who comes to visit in the summer and brings toys and candy. As you well know that isn’t the only description of “mom” and that part has been what we have had to work on. We are leaps and bounds ahead in attachment because we did know each other but for Daizy’s well being I will have to safe guard her time and interaction for a while. I know that all of you love us both and will be willing to do the crazy things I ask for just this short season. I promise it will be a short season and I thank you in advance for humoring me in all of this.

I’ve read many books and taken classes leading up to this day. One of the greatest resources has been other adoptive parents who have graciously shared their mistakes and victories in an effort to help Daizy and I transition smoothly. It would be foolish and prideful of me to dismiss that advice when it is in the best interest of Daizy. That being said here are some things I would ask you to keep in mind as we come home.

Adoption is a beautiful thing! One of the clearest pictures we have of the Gospel and our relationship with Jesus. But can I be honest and say it is also very hard. Adoption is necessary because of brokenness and loss. Daizy has already lost her mother and has now said goodbye to the rest of her family and friends. As fun and as exciting as America seems she still will have grieving to do. She is walking into a new life that is going to be very overwhelming to her. Everything looks different, smells different, feels different, tastes different...and that is a lot for a child to take in. For that reason it is my job to create an atmosphere of security and safety. We will be staying low-key for just a little while. If you read the books this is called the “cocooning period” and luckily we have done some of this during our long stay here.

I think I sold over 400 “and then came Daizy” shirts and even more people than that know her name and face. People I have never met know my daughter. Imagine walking into a new place where everyone seems to know you but you don’t know any of them. That is what Daizy is coming home to. So for a while we need you to love us enough to be patient in meeting her. She needs to know that I am mom and I provide for her...for now. That doesn’t mean if you see us out in public you have to avoid us but just be mindful that when you approach us you are a stranger to Daizy though you obviously are not a stranger to me.

For the sake of not rambling I am going to just paraphrase the wise words of my friend Jenny from the letter she sent family and friends when they brought their son home recently.

◾We will be living a quiet life for a little while with limited trips out and few visitors in for a while. Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first adopted, they may be overwhelmed, scared and nervous. By keeping our lives boring for a little while it will help Daizy to feel safe at home. This does NOT mean that we want to live in isolation. We will just limit visitors in our environment for a little while.
◾If you have kids that will be around Daizy often, it may be a good idea to prepare them that she looks different from them (and even different from me). And because of the unconventional road God has led us on she doesn’t have an adoptive father....and that’s okay! Different isn’t bad...it’s just different and if we were all just alike then that would just be boring.
◾As much as you all want to hug and kiss on Daizy and help me to spoil her, it is highly recommended that I be the only one to do that for a little while to help with attachment. Some of our hardest days so far are when she has had a lot of fun attention from other people. High fives and blowing kisses are okay but for a short time a “hands off” approach is best. Again...it will be a short season but this is necessary.
◾As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called “indiscriminate attachment” and can mean they haven’t really attached to anyone. (I am hopeful this will be short lived because Daizy has attached to other care givers ins the past and she is also used to American teams coming to visit Acres of Hope.)
◾Please do not give her gifts or sneak her food. If anyone gets to give her fun things it needs to be me. As my friend Jena has told me many times “no one gets to out fun mom for now.” Again...some of our hardest days so far have been the direct result of this very thing. If she asks you for food simply direct her back to me. If she gets upset and needs consoling bring her back to me.
◾Many things about adopted children are just different than with biological kids, especially discipline. I know there will be things that you think are weird and I would just encourage you to keep your opinions to yourself for now. Trust that I am doing what I feel is best for her. Feel free to ask me why I do things a certain way and I will be happy to share most of the time.
◾Please pray for us. Encourage us. Know that as an adoptive mom I will be experiencing some of the same emotions as post-partum depression (already have). My world has changed drastically in a short amount of time....I wouldn’t change it for the world but it’s not always easy.

I am so excited that we will be coming home very soon. I cannot wait for all of you to meet Daizy and fall in love with this spunky kid like I have. Thank you for loving us through this journey so far. I appreciate your understanding in reading this letter to the end. Your commitment to helping Daizy adapt to her new life means the world to her mommy!

Being Sifted

*this was a note I wrote on facebook that I wanted to post here as well. Again, sorry for the re-run*


I've contemplated not writing this note because I'm not sure I can do the experience justice but it was too good not to share.

There are moments in life when Jesus leans down and tenderly whispers in your ear and I had one of those moments on Thursday night.

We were having our weekly bible study (I can say that because I've now been with the group for 3 weeks) with the night guards and the people they have continued to bring with them to bible study at Curt and DeDe's. This is such an amazing group of people that I'm learning so much from.

As we began one of the ladies shared that she had 2 really vivid dreams this week that she didn't know what they meant. Side note: I love that a dream didn't seem insignificant to bring up in this time. As she shared with the group my soul was so encouraged.

Her dream went like this: she left Uganda on a plane and people asked how she was able to go. (From our experiences you've now realized that leaving Uganda isn't an easy task). And she explained that before she could get on the plane she had to be sifted. In the dream she said she physically saw herself being sifted like flour. And that's how she was able to get in the plane...she must first be sifted.

It hit me. It was that tender whisper from Jesus answering that lingering question on why we are still here in Uganda. Why can't we get on the plane and come home? We are first being sifted. First I think there are some things that needed to be sifted out in me in this journey. But more importantly...what little I know about baking...a recipe will call for you to sift the dry ingredients together before adding them to the rest of the ingredients. This sifting is to make sure the flour, baking soda, salt, etc is well mixed to produce a flawless cake. You see, Daizy and I needed this time to be sifted together before we added everything else that will be part of our lives into the mix.

I haven't always been patient or happy about the wait (14 weeks and counting) but I've always known the time isn't wasted. I've missed 8 years of Daizy's life so I don't want to take a single day with her for granted. The sifting has grown in us a great love for one another, a great bond, a needed trust and dependence.

Thank you Jesus for giving a dream to a woman that I just met who would share it at a bible study where I would be...only you could orchestrate that scene to give me a small glimpse of why I'm "still here".

Observations of a New Mom

I originally posted this as a note on my facebook but wanted to share it here so that all our adoption stories would be together.
Sorry for the re-run....

I have been taking in some things over these last few months as a new mom. Many of you will read this and say "I told you so" or "I could have told you that." And the irony of all of this is that we haven't even made it home yet. These are in no particular order and are meant to be funny and light hearted. I am in no way complaining about my sweet Daizy. I have loved every minute of being her mom.

1. A child can be full after eating their plate of food but if mom has a drink or a plate they are suddenly hungry or thirsty for what you have. She always gulps down my drink if I let her have even a small sip...mom's drink it just better apparently.

2. There is no such thing as privacy. I cannot use the bathroom in peace. I have to lock the door and turn music on to get a moment to poop without company. She can be playing by herself for hours but let mom go in the bathroom and close the door and you better believe she will be standing outside the door calling my name.

3. On the same topic...if I need to use the bathroom while we are doing our bedtime routine of story and prayer you better believe this sweet girl will pray for everyone she knows by name.

4. It doesn't matter what time you put them to bed "I'm not tired"...but they will magically fall asleep if they just lay still for 5 minutes.

5. One bed time story is never enough. And my favorite response is "but mom it's a story about Jesus...just one more please?" They learn early how to manipulate and bat those beautiful eyes.

6. Changing clothes is great fun...so why not change clothes five times a day? What's laundry? (especially when you only have 5 outfits to wear)

7. They say the funniest things. Whether it be a funny statement or a made up word. My favorite is hearing songs she has heard and the words are all wrong but I love her little rendition even when it makes no sense.

Example: I asked her the other day if she wanted carrots for dinner (she hates carrots by the way) and she looked at me in distress and in most dramatic fashion and said "Oh Lord no mom"....where does she get that from?

Another example: We watched the movie ELF way too much over Christmas because it was the only movie I had on my ipad. She has learned English from watching ELF and that's probably not a good thing. She loves the shower scene where Buddy starts singing with Jovie. The line says "I ought to say no no no" but my girl says "I oxtaput no no no"...hey it's whatever. And my favorite is that she usually only sings it when she is in the bath.

8. If you play a game with a child you are basically playing yourself because you have to help them. Nothing like playing yourself. You win some and you lose some. Battleship may be the most frustrating to play with a child...especially when they keep moving their ships.

9. If you are in bed with a child it doesn't matter if the bed is a king or a twin because the spot they want is yours. She wants to be right against me or better yet right on top of me. (Lord help me...I hate sharing a bed with anyone)

10. The bathtub is the best babysitter ever.

This is just a start. I am sure there will be much more to come. Feel free to give your mom insights. They keep us laughing don't they?

Guardian Angels

I can't even begin to tell you all the ways God has provided for us on this journey. It's overwhelming to be honest. Family and friends have been used by God to make this adoption possible. All of this was before I even got to Uganda. When I headed to Africa on November 30th I had no idea that 14 weeks later I would still be here. I had a 12 week leave of absence from work with no pay so time was crucial...as time usually is in America. However, when you are in Africa there is no hurry. In fact if one more person tells me "be patient, there is no hurry in Africa" I might scream.

Part of the puzzle was figuring out where to stay for this long journey. With no income and living on the money I have in savings while still paying bills, car notes, insurance, etc. back home it was easy to see how worry would consume you. But oh how the Lord has graciously provided.

My friend SaraBeth put some feelers out for someone who might be willing to house me for two nights when I first arrived in Kampala. Within hours she connected me with The Penner Family. They graciously picked me up at the airport (very late at night) and housed me for a couple of days. Before I left to head to Nebbi Jena offered to let us stay when we came back to Kampala for the last part of the process. God bless the Penners for their kindness to us....none of us had any clue that when we arrived at their house in January that we would still be there 5 weeks later. There isn't anything worse than a house guest who long over stays their welcome. The Penners are a family of 9 and took in two strangers. When I realized that our timeline was indefinite we decided to give them a break. But our time with them was invaluable. The Penners have three kiddos from Uganda so I learned so much from Jena about hair care, about transitioning and so so so much more. I will forever be thankful for their kindness.

While we were in Nebbi we stayed with Pastor Geoffrey and his wonderful wife who I call Momma Joy. I was so well loved and taken care of in their home. Momma Joy heated my bath water every night. She spent long hours over a fire cooking for us. Life in Nebbi isn't convenient or easy. Our clothes had to be hand washed and Momma Joy would not let me do the laundry. We were with the Keronga's for a month. I got to spend Christmas with my Ugandan family and brought in the new year. I absolutely love this family and am so thankful for their willingness to host Daizy and I as we got to know each other as mother/daughter.

Our last stop has been a move to Entebbe with our friends Curt and DeDe. During my time at LC I really connected with Curt and DeDe's youngest son and his wife. I had met Brother Curt a few times. When I reached out to them on facebook about staying with them for a week or two they happily opened their door. Our stay with them has lingered but our time with them has been wonderful. We now have an adopted set of grandparents in Entebbe. They have loved us so well at a time when this mom needed a breath of fresh air. Daizy adores them and I dread the day we have to say goodbye even though I cannot wait to be home. We have felt so at home. We help cook and clean and have found a good little routine to each day. And I found some Downton Abbey watchers so we have downloaded Season 4 and caught up...yay!!

God has provided some incredible people for us to stay with along this journey...our guardian angels. I will never forget them and the role they played on our journey to becoming family.

Hair Evolution

So there is one thing that I couldn't really prepare for until I got here.
Daizy's hair.
Let's just be honest....I know nothing...correction...I knew nothing about black hair. There is a great website called "Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care" for moms like me. White ladies raising black babies. But until you can get your hands in that kinky curly hair it's just all theory. And let me tell you...the only similarity is has with white people hair is that it's located on top of our head. And then the similarities stop.

So here is what I have learned so far...
*you only wash chocolate hair once a week....sometimes only once a month
*you always wet the hair before combing it
*once the hair is styled DO NOT TOUCH IT
*when you're weave (hair extensions) itch you must pat your head...DO NOT SCRATCH
*when you hear the term "co-wash" it means that you wash the hair with conditioner
*chocolate hair can change drastically in a matter of hours

There is so much I still have to learn about products, combing, washing, styling but I figure I have years to get this down. In the meantime I have many friends with experience.

Here is just a glimpse at our hair evolution over the last 14 weeks in chronological order.

Let's just be honest....this girl can rock any hairstyle. We recently cut it all off to get it healthy again. It had been chemically straightened while we were still in Nebbi so we wanted to get a fresh start. I love her short hair and it has made my mornings so much easier.

Stay tuned....I am sure there are many new hairstyles to come.