ROUND 2: Daizy Shirts

After selling 300 shirts they are still in demand so I am placing a second order this Monday. I am getting an assortment of sizes and colors but if you need youth sizes or "big kid" sizes I need a pre-order for that :) Let me know if you want one....we'd love to have you rocking your Daizy shirt wherever you are!

COMING SOON...

My sister threw out the idea of creating a cookbook as a fundraiser so start pulling out your favorite go to recipes that you want to share with the world and we will see if we can't get a cookbook compiled to have ready for Christmas presents.

submit recipes to kbthomas@lacollege.edu

home invasion....I mean home study

Most of you know that I had my first home study interview this past Friday….first let me say thank you for the prayers. I was overwhelmed by your love and support that day. My phone was blowing up all day with your words of encouragement and/or pics of you in your Daizy shirt. I don’t even have words to describe the feelings I had when I got back on campus that day and LC was covered with Daizy shirts. One of our students put on twitter that if an outsider drove by they would think that LC got new uniforms. To date there are 300 people out there wearing shirts to support my growing family and I am humbled and thankful!

I really don’t even know where to begin to describe the events of Friday. I vowed to share with you the good, the bad, the ugly of the adoption process and I am still on the fence as to which category to put the home study interview in. No matter how you spin it….you are interviewing with a perfect stranger who is going to get all up in your business, write a report about you that is submitted to two national governments and from that you will either be approved or denied to adopt a child. No pressure right?

Just by nature of my blog it’s no secret that my life is an open book. I am a processor and I like to think out loud and talk things out. You would think this would work in my favor in a process like this…even so, I will say this was the most invasive process I have ever gone through. My social worker is an incredible woman who loves the Lord so that wasn’t the issue. Imagine having to take all the “baggage” in your lifetime and put it on a table and tell a stranger about it….ugh. When I left the two hour interview I was emotionally drained. And like any good woman can, I over analyzed every answer that I gave…every question and follow up question that was asked…body language…you name it. By the time I had arrived back in Pineville I was convinced there is no way I could get approved to raise a child. It really is amazing the way that Satan will seek to devour you even when (especially when) you know without a doubt you are being obedient to the Lord.

When it comes to what I expected from this interview….I knew there would be questions about how I planned to be a single parent, how I planned to discipline, what led me to this point of adoption and lots of questions about my family. Again, it’s no secret to most of you that the Thomas Family has been dealt its share of ups and downs. I always tell people that we put “fun” in dysfunctional. So I knew going in there would be questions about the strained relationship I have with my mom and the homosexual lifestyle that my father lives. One thing that is undeniable, I seem to have more than my share of “baggage” but I have also accepted that it has made me who I am today. I have no regrets, as if I caused these things to happen, but in so many seasons of my life the Lord has used my experiences to minister to others. I quit asking a long time ago “why me?” and turned my questions into a “how can you use this?” and “what do you want me to learn from this Lord?” So, I was expecting to have to unpack a lot of that but it still wasn’t easy. To have someone look at you and ask if you’ve ever gone to counseling is never easy to hear because ultimately what I heard was “you need counseling.”

Side note on counseling---I do not think counseling is a bad thing. I do not think it implies you are crazy to see a counselor….that is a social stigma that I think is ridiculous. I’m not really sure why I have never gone to professional counseling, to be honest. I am sure I’ve blamed the cost, the time…who knows. I do know that I have been incredibly blessed to have godly people in my life at every season who have given me wise counsel. I’m blessed that God wired me not to bottle up my emotions so that there isn’t 34 years of “messed up ness” fighting it’s way to the top. I will say that after the initial interview I have prayed about going to counseling. If that is something that will help me be a better mom to Daizy…by all means I am willing to do that. There are countless resources I will need as a mom and I’m willing to admit a counselor may just be one of them. *end side note*

So after I felt (irrational feelings) that I now had two strikes against me, here came the curve ball and strike number three. I was asked about my job history and all the jobs I have worked since high school. As I began listing jobs and years of employment I got to 2005-2006 where I served at LSU…still breezing on through to the 7 years I have now served at LC. SEVEN YEARS….holy cow! And then came the dreaded question… “have you ever been fired from a job?” (enter dramatic piano playing here). Why did I not think this would come up? Why didn’t I prepare for this? Most of you know the answer to this….because of poor decisions on my part to be more loyal to students than to my boss/ministry partner, I was asked to leave my job at LSU. Here may be the highlight of my day though….I was able to talk about that season of my life without being emotional. If I could paint a picture of that moment it would be of me in a boxing ring and hearing the bell ring and the ref holding my hand up in the air as the victor of the fight. For the first time I realized I had finally forgiven myself. It has been an incredible year of emotional and spiritual healing for me and I realized I had finally let my failure go….my failure in that job no longer defined me. No doubt, that was one of the most defining moments of my life. I was forced to deal with failure for the first time in my adult life and learn how to pick myself up and move on. THANK YOU LORD! Thank you for that moment of knowing that you had redeemed my past and have given me a great future in student ministry where I am stronger, better and far wiser than I was in 2005.

That is a lot to overcome….BUT PRAISE THE LORD THAT HE CAN! After a two hour drive home feeling completely defeated, the Lord has gently reminded me this week that He is in control and its only by his grace and his imputed righteousness into my life that I could ever be a good parent.

“A” if you’re reading this….and I know you do because you’re good at your job like that….know that I am so thankful for your graciousness and kindness through this process. There was nothing you did or didn’t do that caused any of these emotions….Satan is crafty like that and would love nothing more than to see me give in and give up on fighting for my Daizy. If there is one thing I know for sure is that we have the same goal in sight…doing what is best for Daizy!!

So here’s to preparing for home study interview number two and all that entails. Mark your calendars and start praying because #2 will be next Tuesday, October 2nd at 10:30am

In closing I am left chuckling at a line from The Hunger Games….”may the odds be ever in your favor!”

a blog recommendation

First let me say that I am still processing my first home study interview and trying to figure out how to put that experience into a blog...but it's coming.

Second...I have lots of pictures to sort through and post of all the people out there rocking Daizy shirts and showing their love and support. That blog will take a while to put together but I will get it posted soon!

But this morning the blog that doesn't take a long time to put together is my recommendation of another blog. I recently met Jessica Bufkin...author of a blog for singles called Single Roots. Jessica and I have lots of mutual friends and decided it was time for us to be friends. We met for coffee this past Saturday and just chatted about life. Her blog is quite phenomenal...funny, wise, full of insight and the list goes on. The post this morning was incredibly timely for me with some things that are going on around LC's campus. Thanks Jess for your wise words and encouragement to pursue righteousness with our words even on social media outlets.

Check out the Single Roots blog at www.singleroots.com

And here would be my new kindred spirit...

Happy reading!

God is doing BIG things!

Sorry I haven't updated in a couple of weeks. When I have an absence from blogging one of two things is going on #1 absolutely NOTHING or #2 a whole lot! This time around it's #2.

My friend SaraBeth Fentress....the founder of 127 Worldwide was in town visiting for a few days. SB and I met back in 2000 at Southwestern Seminary and have been kindred spirits and dear friends ever since. We've been blessed to travel the globe together and share a love for all things Africa. SB is the one who got me on my first trip to Uganda and as you see the rest is history. SB came in town because one of my teammates this summer had helped raise money for a well with the help of his church. When we got back two months ago Andrew was sharing with his church about the trip and someone asked what the greatest need was at Acres of Hope. Without hesitating Andrew responded "clean water"...these people need a well. Almost as quickly as he answered his pastor spoke up and said that the church was committing to fund a well project! Praise the Lord! Two months later SaraBeth came to share with the church about Acres of Hope and 127WW and was presented with a check for over $10,000 to build a well. Again, PRAISE THE LORD!

Who knew three years ago when SB asked me to lead a team that we would be here....Acres of Hope standing with children living there and a school in session...a non-profit organization that the Lord is blessing and both of us in a process of adopting daughters. God is so good and I am blessed to call SB my friend. Here's a pic from this weekend...we get asked all the time if we are sisters.

In other news....just in time for Aunt SB to come visit...I got Daizy's room finished! I just have a few small things to do on the walls but for the most part it is complete and ready for her to come home.

And last but not least....shirts are here and going out like crazy. I decided I wanted to do a collage for Daizy's room of all the people who bought shirts to help get her home. I've been asking people to send me pics of them in their shirts and have gotten a wonderful response. I've sold almost 300 in a week and shirts are in about 10 states in the US! Daizy is one loved little girl already. I had several people tell me I needed to take a picture of Matti in a Daizy shirt so I did. Here's hoping Matti loves Daizy more than she loved wearing this shirt.

If you bought a shirt send me a pic! And if you have a shirt this Friday is a perfect day to wear it and remember to pray for us...I have my first home study interview this Friday at 10am. Yay!

labor of love

Well today was a big day in the life of Big Momma and all things adoption. As of yesterday I completed the first big packet of information that had to be sent to my social worker. It has taken me over a month to gather information together from the first check list. That was a labor of love! I put it in the mail this morning...certified mail at that. That envelope had my life in it, basically.

Here was a picture from yesterday when I had finished checking, double checking and triple checking to make sure it was all there.

As of this morning it has been mailed and for a brief moment the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Okay that was a little dramatic but it was a huge relief to have it done.

In addition to paperwork...I stuck to my goal and used my "hurication"---hurricane vacation for good. Thanks to Isaac we got an unexpected week off of work that I used to complete my 20 hours of online adoption education. I also finished 1 of 2 books and wrote the book review for it. I am on a roll these days.

It wasn't all work and no play during the hurication. I completed a few craft projects while I was home. Here is a picture of the three piece craftiness I did for Daizy's room.

In other news...I submitted the t-shirt order this morning. We were able to sell 159 shirts and then I ordered an additional 100 shirts to have for various fund raising events that we host and for the people who see how awesome they are after the fact and want one. Praise the Lord!

If you like the t-shirt design and the handy work on the support letters and you ever need some design work you should check out facebook.com/jodimartindesigns
She does a great job!

silent reminder

Adoption Update

I figured it may be time for a little update so here goes....

FUNDRAISING: we have raised $4,340.00 so far! That's awesome just being a month into fundraising. THANK YOU all for your support. Keep it coming, spread the word and send any ideas you have...everyday there is a new expense.

PAPERWORK: Thanks to the unexpected "hurication" we just had I was able to catch up on almost all things paperwork which was wonderful. I don't want to make light of those who have suffered great damage from the hurricane but having a week off work was a blessing for this momma! If you know anyone who has gone through the process of adoption you've probably seen the glazed look in their eyes and the change in the tone of their voice when they even say the word "paperwork" and you don't really know what that means. Here is kind of what the first round of paperwork has looked like for me. Keep in mind I am doing a private adoption and so those families who use an agency have even more requirements to fulfill. Here is the first check list I received from the social worker:

*Local and FBI fingerprints (you have to apply to do this and it takes time and $$)

*Background checks for all the cities and states you have lived in since you were 18...shouldn't be a big deal unless you're like me and have done summer missions and worked summer camps and then you know what....you set the record for needing background checks from 18 states. WOOHOO! And every state has a different document to complete with different requirements--some require money, others want a notarized request, etc

*5 references who get to the joy of being grilled about you (thanks friends and family)

*Copy of marriage license (still working on that one)

*Copy of divorce or death certificate (PTL that doesn't apply)

*Copy of tax return

*Copy of birth certificate and social security card (for all living in the home)

*Copies of monthly statements for all bills

*Copies of all insurance cards (health, vehicle, homeowners, etc)

*Something that has the dimensions of each room of your house

*Copy of your last pay stub

*Letters from employers verifying employment

*copy of bank statements and savings accounts

*Copy of statements dealing with retirement, IRA, investments, etc

*Copy of current shot records for any pets in the home

Once all this is complete then starts the required adoption education!

ADOPTION EDUCATION: I just thought I was done with school but part of the process is adoption education. Please don't mistake mention of this as complaining...thus far it has been super beneficial. I have two books that I have to read and write reviews for: The Connected Child and Twenty Things Every Adopted Child Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew. In addition I have about 10 hours of online training to complete. All of this is very informative and has caused me to think through things I probably wouldn't have thought about. If only every parent was required to do this...#wishfulthinking.

HOMESTUDY: I have officially scheduled my first interview for the homestudy. When I wrote it on my calendar I had mixed feelings...#1 doing a cartwheel...#2 throwing up.I was informed by a friend that doing them both simultaneously was a terrible idea. Good thing I can't do a cartwheel (but I didn't throw up either). Not sure why scheduling my interview made this all seem so real. As if decorating Daizy's room, hanging clothes in her closet, gathering info about every aspect of my life, paying money left and right didn't make it all real.

*my first interview is Friday, September 21st at 10am*


And that is where we are right now....keep those prayer coming because they are needed, felt and so very appreciated!