Go Speed Racer Go

So I have a confession...at the tender age of 31 I got my first speeding ticket last week. I was on my way to Baptist, Louisiana just on the other side of Baton Rouge to the funeral home. My good friend.."older brother" Brad's father passed away and I was on my way to funeral home after work. If you know anything about the drive from Pineville to Baton Rouge the majority of it is through small towns on Hwy 190 that are known for being speed traps and yours truly was paying no attention to how fast she was going through Livonia, LA until she saw the blue lights. There is nothing like that feeling...your stomach turns, you don't want to cry because you know you were in the wrong yet the reaction is involuntary, your hands are shaking as you reach for your license and registration...and though the police officers may not be out and out mean they always treat you like a hardened criminal. True, at that moment I have broken the law and in my case I was caught for going 20 over the speed limit so at this point I should just be thankful he is not arresting me for wreckless driving. I guess for my first ticket I did it big...but ugh what a horrible feeling. I tried to throw out the "I'm on my way to a funeral card" but he was less than sympathetic...he did care enough to tell me to be careful as he walked away from my car. Some days you just cant win for losing. I had plenty of time the rest of that trip to think about it and what really irritated me the most is that I wanted to be mad at that officer...I really did and all I could come back to is that I needed to be angry with myself. I messed up. I broke the law. I wasn't mad that I sinned...I was mad because I got caught and now I am going to have to pay a hefty ticket for it. What a sobering thought that was for me that day and something that I have been chewing on for a few days now. It always amazes me how the Lord cant get your attention through the strangest of circumstances. I have to trust that the speed limit is what it is on that road for a reason and when I dont abide by it I am putting myself and others at risk. Just like I need to be more concerned not with getting caught in my sin but that when I sin I am offending a Holy God. It's not about getting caught...even though getting caught sucks...its about honoring boundaries because they have been placed around us for our protection and for the protection of others. That was an exepensive lesson for me to have to wrap my mind around last week.