SANTA CLAUS...
When Daizy gets home and the holidays roll around how do I want to handle the Santa Claus issue. If you are reading this blog and still believe in Jolly Ole Saint Nicholas well here is your spoiler alert...he's not real. I never dreamed I would be the mom even contemplating this issue. I grew up believing in Santa and loved it. I never thought there would come a day where I would consider not allowing my children to believe in Santa....and then came Daizy.
Daizy is old enough to remember Christmas time before life at Big Momma's house. If you think about what we tell children about Santa this could cause all sorts of confusion for her. Here is an excert from wikipedia...
According to a tradition which can be traced to the 1820s, Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, with a large number of magical elves, and nine (originally eight) flying reindeer. Since the 20th century, in an idea popularized by the 1934 song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", Santa Claus has been believed to make a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior ("naughty" or "nice") and to deliver presents, including toys, and candy to all of the well-behaved children in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the reindeer who pull his sleigh.[6][7]
Good children get gifts from the fat guy in the red suit and naughty children get nothing...or a lump of coal at best. So how do you explain that to a child who probably never got anything for Christmas? For the first five years of her life were she and all her friends in Uganda naughty children? Do you see the dilemma here?
However, I don't want to be "that" mom with "that" child who ruins the fun for everyone else. The last thing I want it for Daizy to be the whistle blower at school that Santa isn't real.
Where is the balance? It's a fun tradition but it is not the reason for Christmas and that is what I want Daizy to love and celerate...the birth of Jesus!
Needless to say I haven't solved this problem but I am interested in your traditions and how you have chosen to handle the Santa issue with your children. Ready, go....give me your insights wise women who read this blog. Even if you are not a woman or not a mother feel free to comment. I give this disclaimer...I will not judge you for your handling of Christmas traditions if you do not judge me for whatever I decide to do with Daizy.
So tell me....is Santa Claus coming to town?
6 comments:
I like this post, and I like how you're thinking through how to make the transition easiest for Daizy. Obviously, I don't have any kids. However, I can tell you what my parents did. When Aaron and I were small, my family was very poor (we've made it to middle-class now, although the news told us the other day that based on our income we are still poor). Anyway, my parents chose to tell us early that Santa is not real because the facts were that he may not come or he may bring presents for Aaron and me together (ie:games). I never thought I was missing out by not believing in Santa, and I never ruined it for anyone else.
Blaine and I just discussed your post. We havent decided one way or the other either. Thankfully Payton is still too young to understand. Blaine's opinion was if we were adopting a 5 year old we would explain it to her from the beginning. Santa is a tradition but is make believe and not what Christmas is about. In the end though, she's your baby girl and everyone will have an opinion:) Still praying for you and Daizy!
I've been contemplating this question with Lucas a lot, too. I'm leaning toward forgoing Santa altogether. Growing up poor does kind of make the whole Santa thing very confusing, which I know from experience. Also, I think a lot of kids figure Santa out by the time they hit first grade now. So you may be in the clear on having the kid who spoils it.
Santa doesn't come to our house. The gifts under our tree come from Mom and Dad. Instead, we try to focus on the magic of Jesus' birth and giving to others to show His love. We try to involve the boys in shopping and preparing gifts for needy children here in Montgomery and around the world through great organizations like Operation Christmas Child and World Vision. We felt like developing compassion in our kids for kids that were less fortunate was more important than the Santa Claus tradition. Also, we try to always tell our kids the truth, even about fairy tales.
We don't "do" Santa at our house, but my eldest is prone to be the spoiler if she knows something for sure, so we have simply told her that Santa doesn't come to her house because Mommy and Daddy like to give her her presents. I realize this doesn't quite get to the truth, but it works for us because it takes the focus off of Santa Claus (which was our main goal in not giving presents from him). She knows that other kids "believe" in him and that they think he comes to their houses. She just thinks I've worked out a side deal. :) Like I said, that may sound silly, but this kid is two steps ahead of me at all times so I had to have some explanation short of "he's not real," or I feared the mothers of her friends and cousins would be coming after me in no time. My other two aren't quite as prone to question the inner workings of how they get presents and more likely to just smile and say "thank you." So I don't foresee it being much of an issue. But time will tell. Also, we give the kids three presents each--just like Jesus got from the wise men. This limit is as much for my benefit as it is for them because I inherited my mother's you-can't-put-too-many-presents-under-a-tree gene. It also keeps them from making obscene "Christmas lists" like I used to do. In a year or so when they are old enough to understand I hope to incorporate a family gift to someone in need and let them help decide the recipient.
Hope this helps! :)
If you were considering having Santa Claus come to town I think its easy to not focus on the naughty and nice part. I don't ever remember getting told I would get a lump of coal if I was naughty for Christmas. I never for that matter thought the presents were based on behavior at all :) I guess the Santa Claus that passed by my house had an unconditional love for me (Probably cause thats how my parents loved me) Anywho, I grew up getting presents from Santa and hearing the Christmas story read on Christmas morning. I know in my heart where the important focus is and always have. I trust that you will know what to do when the time comes. Excited to learn about your adoption today! Being a mom is the best!
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